What’s the real concern?

I once heard the suggestion that a gravestone is more reflective of the people that commission it than the person who has died.

It’s similar to you buying a present for someone that you’d really like to receive yourself.

And that’s similar to pet owners more concerned with discussing the breed of their pet rather than how their pet is part of their life.

Makes me wonder what’s most important.

Blogging is a concernful activity

I made two posts in January about types of bloggers. The first listed four types of bloggers, and the second was my declaration that I was an observational blogger.

Renard’s post on The Case of Bloggers Wanting Different Things reminded me of my own, and also got me to thinking about concernful activity – the idea that we are always acting to take care of what is important to us.

Sometimes, we don’t know what is important, and blogging, journalling and writing in general are ways to discover that. To go meta, these are all forms of conversation and without conversation figuring out anything is impossible.

I too share Renard’s wish:

If by chance, you have not figured out what it is that you want from blogging, I do hope that you figure it out real soon.

I see (and feel) the overwhelm as well

Euan Semple posted today about the digital overwhelm we are facing more and more as online systems become ever more dictated yet poor interface design makes them unusable. If you’re waving at someone to get their attention for assistance, and they continually ignore you, you will submit and put up with the pain.

Lately I’ve been thinking along similar lines as I see more and more technology changes fall upon deaf ears. For example, Microsoft 365 has a large and constantly changing suite of technologies for collaboration but when people are not guided in their use, the benefits can’t possibly be realised. And that is unfortunate.

A symptom of Euan’s digital overwhelm is the deaf ear. People stop listening because it’s all too hard. And just as overwhelmed are those who have been trying to assist them. Why bother trying to help someone who doesn’t want to listen. In that moment we forget we are all people trying to do our best to help each other. Instead it becomes me and them. I’m right and they are lazy/incompetent/ignorant.

It will get better. I have faith in that. It has too… And I’m trying my best to help where I can. If only they would listen to me!

Can’t, won’t, and shouldn’t.

The other day a friend was saying to me that he’d been involved in an investigation at work and colleagues were asking him for details (gossip).

He said he’d been telling them, “I can’t say anything.”

Got me to thinking of the difference between “can’t” and “won’t”.

  • Can’t is more, “I’d like to, but I don’t have a choice in keeping quiet.” It’s a way of keeping social care of those who have asked, even if they should know better. The authority deciding sharing or not is external.
  • Won’t is a personal choice. “I’m choosing not to tell you because of my personal values.” It risks people pressuring you and social damage. The authority deciding sharing or not is internal.

Obviously, if someone responds, “I shouldn’t,” then sit down and listen to it all. Facts and speculation combined.